How to pick your wedding party
Picking out your wedding party can be something that feels daunting, stressful and overwhelming. If you have a big group of friends, these feelings can be even more prominent! Something that I think can bring you some peace of mind is that it’s your day, which means that if you have 15 friends that you cannot imagine getting married without, you can have all 15! And, of course, on the flip end, if you have two friends that you cannot imagine your day without, you can have just those two! There’s no real rule on a “cap” of the amount of people you have by your side on your wedding day. I personally have been to a cousin’s wedding that had fourteen bridesmaids and groomsmen. This is by far that biggest wedding party that I’ve personally seen, and we made it work!
What I should point out, though, is in regard to formality is that the smaller the guest list, the smaller the wedding party and the bigger the guest list, the bigger the wedding party! But I view these as just some guidelines to make decisions a big easier.
In regard to how to actually decide who should stand by your side on your wedding day, I’ve made an easy to follow list to help you make this tough decision!
#1: Make a list of the people you feel close to
This one seems obvious, right? As silly as this might sound, it can be a lot easier to decide once you’ve written everything out.
#2: Think of family first
If you are close with your siblings, or cousins, they can make for the perfect wedding party member! You’ve known them for your entire life and are able to rely on having them for the rest of your life!
#3: Decide on whether or not you want to have an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen
This is an important piece to this decision because your partner may only have three people they want, whereas you have ten! Bear in mind though that your photographer should have the skill to make photos look great even if you decide on an uneven wedding party!
#4: Be selfish!
To say this bluntly, you don’t want to include someone in your wedding day that isn’t going to be a lifelong friend. Be selfish with who you choose! Don’t worry about offending someone. Think through the friends who you spend a lot of time talking to or hanging out with. If you have them, think through your lifelong friends! Think through friends who you know you can trust.
#5: Think of roles and reliability
This is two fold. Maybe you want your Maid of Honor to be your best friend, but she sucks at planning things. You can give the planning job to someone else, even though this isn’t totally traditional! I also think that if you have a friend that you adore, but they are incredibly unreliable and never show up for anything planned, maybe don’t ask them to be apart of your wedding party. (Trust me, I learned this the hard way!)
All in all, you want to include the people that you truly want by your side. Don’t give into pressure, guilt tripping or anything else that is disrespectful of your wants! This is your day and everyone should be on Team Bride and Groom!